Transformational Life Coach and Relationship Counselor

I can help you explore any kind of interpersonal relationship issue, including marriage counseling, or enhancing other kinds of significant personal relationships. I can also help you gain insight in regard to any kind of vocational, psychological, spiritual, or societal, issue that may be important to you, e.g., clarifying your basic goals in life, actualizing your natural individual potentials, enhancing your level of creative functioning, coping with difficult life crises, pragmantic adaptations, and challenging situations, facing opportunities for constructive personal transformation, helping other individuals and contributing to positive social transformation through one's career, volunteer work, and personal life, and so on. I will show you how to deal effectively with the necessary challenges of life that one has to face.

In my relationship counseling services, I help you learn how to develop open, honest, constructive, meaningful, communication with other individuals, as a way of producing greater levels of mutual empathic understanding, constructive conflict resolution, and co-creative transformational empowerment, in your personal relationships. I can also help you understand how connecting to other individuals, in unselfish, deeply caring, relationships, can enable one to tap into a regenerative level of life energy, for enhanced vitality, psychological transformation and spiritual growth, optimal well being, creative inspiration, as well as holistic healing of heart, mind, and body.

In addition to providing counseling dealing with issues pertaining to enhancing one's own personal relationships and individual life, I am also able to provide counseling for issues related to contributing to the constructive transformation of contemporary society. This involves understanding how the synergistic/co-creative power of love can gradually, constructively, transform the collective heart of humanity, from a predominantly selfish, fearful, abusive, predatory, addictive, toxic, orientation, to a more unselfish, compassionate, relaxed, secure, wholesome, orientation.

My Credentials: I have interdisciplinary PhD in Religious Studies/Spirituality and History of World Cultures, and have also taken extensive graduate level coursework and supervised practica in Psychology and Counseling. I have many years of experience in counseling, mentoring, and am currently writing two books, one focusing on developing creative psychological self-understanding and constructive personal transformation, and the other dealing with developing deeply caring interpersonal relationships, involving good communication, emotional closeness, co-creative/synergistic empowerment, and holistic transformation of one's consciousness and functioning.

Contact Information: Email: mhbj8@hotmail.com

Manifesting Inner and Outer Peace

The reality of peace must actually be lived, by being expressed to others with unselfish caring, and responsive harmonious empathic attunement, along with indivisibly related qualities of goodness such as love, happiness, and beauty, because it is not truly real if it is only a static, abstract, presumptive, thought in the mind, without being lived, or expressed, as a dynamic, responsive, energy, through everything that we say and do, in every here and now present moment. I find that inner peace naturally leads to outer peace, meaning that when the heart is deeply relaxed, with an attitude of non-judgmental unconditional acceptance of oneself and others, so that we are fully at peace with ourselves, then that inner peace will naturally be reflected outwardly by bringing peace and harmony to our experience in the world. The key to inner peace, which brings peace, harmony, and love into the outer world, is to experience the deep sense of fearlessness, security, and well being, that comes from unselfishly expressing caring, or love, to others, and, thereby, being forgetful of the fearful, selfish, prideful, deficient-feeling, ego, a false or unreal sense of self that is the basic source of lack of peace, harmony, and goodness in our inner experience and in the outer world.

We cannot find inner and outer peace by turning inward, in any kind of selfish self-awareness, because introspective self-awareness blocks our conscious life energy from naturally flowing outward to others, and that blocked energy contracts or clenches the emotional heart center level of one’s being, producing fear, tension, hostility, and other related forms of negativity. The role of narcissistic self awareness in producing inner and outer conflict, or lack of peace and harmony, can be understood in metaphorical terms represented by a Black Hole in space, recoiled upon itself, in a powerful inward suction, producing a destructive momentum of self-confinement and disintegration, that traps light, warmth, and energy, unnaturally blocking energy from flowing outward, contrary to the naturally radiant energy of love, epitomized by sunshine, light, and water naturally flowing outward, rather than pulling inward toward their source of origin.

Some people seek a false sense of peace and security by introspectively turning inward, often through introversive practices such as solitary meditation, abstract contemplation, or living the isolated life of a hermit, as a means of avoiding the risk of possibly experiencing rejection, loss, disappointment, anger, conflict, and other forms of emotional pain, hurt, or negativity that may come from being deeply invested in heartfelt caring or loving relationships with other people. The sense of calm that comes from isolating oneself in that way is not true inner peace, because it involves escaping from fearful feelings, and a fragile sense of insecurity, which one anticipates might arise if one comes out of one’s egocentric self-protective, isolated, detached, psychological “walls”, “shell”, or “bubble.” The false inner peace, or solitary calm, of emotional detachment reflects a numbed, death-like, static, timid, stony, cold-hearted, dispassionate, rather uncaring, contracted, sense of indifference, whereas real inner peace and outer harmony reflects the living energy of unselfish, expansive, warmhearted, love, that arises from an openness to letting be, flowing with, learning from, being strengthened by, and, thereby, finding true goodness in, uncomfortable, or unpleasant, feelings and situations that might arise from being deeply invested in caring relationships with other individuals.

Although peace and harmony cannot be found by turning inward, in any kind of introspective self awareness, inner and outer peace finds us when we are self forgetful as ego, by being deeply invested in unselfishly caring about others around us, and then, in being forgetful of the ego, as a false sense of separate self-awareness, we find our real self as love and goodness, which is a relational self, an unselfishly, generously, giving nature, not a separate, selfish, self awareness. Only when people connect to one another in loving harmony can spiritual love blessing power flow through them into the world, and transform this world for the better, eliminating conflicts, and manifesting the unconditional peace, harmony, and goodness that is inherent to the permanent being of love.

One cannot reach enduring peace from a position of holding inner and outer conflict, disturbance, and deficiency, or lack of well being, to be reality, and then trying to find some way to overcome, resolve, or eliminate that negativity. Struggling against negativity, and viewing it as the true reality nature of oneself, others, and life as a whole, perpetuates and magnifies that negativity, pulling one’s conscious energy ever deeper and deeper into that negativity, which energizes, feeds, and amplifies that negativity, like trying to fight fire with fire only makes the fire hotter and more destructive. Trying to overcome conflict, brutality, and oppression by struggling against perceived injustices and oppressors, expressing a blaming, judgmental, antagonistic, attitude toward such perceived wrongdoers, can fan the flames of negativity by arousing even greater hostility in those being blamed, and reinforcing their view of themselves as actually having the malevolent qualities attributed to them by those activists who denounce them. Much more powerful and enduring change for the better can come from expressing the intrinsic permanent being of relaxed peace, harmony, love, and goodness as already being the true reality nature of oneself, and viewing that as also being the inherent true nature of other individuals, and of life as a whole, now already.

Conditions of conflict, suffering, oppression, and injustice, are most likely to enduringly subside if one views that negativity as being only a temporary, dreamlike, illusory, experience, like a nightmare, not the intrinsic true reality nature of anyone’s permanent being. Recognizing and expressing that permanent being of peace, harmony, and well being, is what most profoundly, and enduringly, dispels temporary illusory experiences of individual and societal disorders, like waking up automatically dispels dreams, and like bright sunshine effortlessly dissolves dark clouds, whereas antagonistically struggling against negativity often makes it worse, by immersing one’s conscious energy ever deeper into the negativity that one struggles against, like being obsessed with darkness keeps it always in mind, instead of turning on the light, which automatically dispels darkness, or like making muddy waters muddier by stirring them up, instead of permitting the mud to naturally fall back down to the bottom of the pond by not agitating the water, which restores the natural purity of the water. Sometimes one can work to change the status quo if some other alternative would be more compassionate and beneficial, but still remain grounded in relaxed inner peace, so that that inner peace can produce, and be reflected by, greater harmony, justice, and abundance in the outer world.